I’m sure we’ve all endured the stupid questions from non readers but those are nothing in comparison to some of the ones authors get. From the annoying to just plain stupid, people seem to open their mouths without thinking about what comes out. Here are a few phrases that I’m sure our favorite authors are really tired of hearing, some directly from the authors themselves. I know they bother me as a fledgling writer.
1. “Am I in your book?”
*singing* You’re so vain, you probably think this book is a about you.
No.
2. “Why are you applying for a job? You’re a writer, aren’t you rich?” -Cheyanne Young
Yes, because writing is an exclusive club and everyone is immediately successful. That’s not how this works.
3. “I wrote/I’m writing a book. I mean, I haven’t actually written anything down but I’m definitely writing one.”
Call me when you have a draft, any draft. If you get that far.
4. “When are you going to get a real job?”
To me, writing is a real job. The other ones are to pay the bills but this is what I love.
5. “What’s your book about? Is it kind of like Twilight/Harry Potter/The Hunger Games?”
No, no, and no. Why are those the only books/genres that matter? Stop comparing everything to everything else. And no, it’s not like John Green either.
6. “Oh, have you met [insert author name here]?”
Do you know everyone who works in your field? Not everyone who works in the same industry knows each other, that goes for authors as well.
7. “Can I read your book?”
It’s not finished yet! No one will see it until it’s done.
8. “Can I get a free copy/where can I read it for free?”
Well, there’s this thing called the library where they just hand them out.
9. “So when is you book going to be a movie?”
Let me go ask my personal film crew.
10. ” Writing is so easy, anyone could do it.”
Oh, can they?
What are some that you’ve heard?
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But you should totally put me in your book. Because you know, I'm super awesome.
And then if you do and they hate it they get all mad at you.