Published by Clarkson Potter on November 13th 2012
Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef.
And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more.
With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.
There was a strange moment today when I found a book in my husband’s part of the collection that neither of us knew how it got there. We decided to toss it in the trade in pile but I couldn’t help but give it a quick once over.
I was pleasantly surprised. Are we keeping it? No, we don’t have room. But it’s definitely worth a read. Here’s 10 reasons why.
- The photos.
I don’t know who the chef in this book is (“Mr. Blade” they call him) but dang, he can cook for me any time. Can I touch your abs, Sir?
2. The story. Between each recipe there is a bit of writing, parodies of the actual 50 Shades books. And they are hysterically funny.
3. The innuendos. Such perving, much wow. This book makes some seriously well thought out innuendo and cooking puns so anyone with even the tiniest funny bone will find themselves giggling.
4. The titles.
“Popped Cherry Pullet”, “Extra Virgin Breasts”, “Jerked Around Chicken”, “Learning to Truss You”, “Mustard Spanked Chicken”, “Flattered Breasts”, “Steamy White Meat”, I could go on forever. Each title is better than the last and will have you snickering to yourself.
5. “Inner Goddess”. The infamous phrase, yes it’s here too. And just about as many times as it’s said in the original that’s about how many you’ll find here. The sass is strong.
6. The Back.
Yep, that happened.
7. The quality. This isn’t half assed. Everything is very well put together, from the story to the tiny details. They actually put in effort.
8. The recipes. It’s not the reason to buy the book, but almost like a bonus. I actually want to try a couple of these.
9. The helpful tips. Like a proper cookbook, this book has a bunch of extra tips that will help you while making the recipes. Substitutions, step by steps for trussing the chicken, you’d have to go through each page to pick them all up!
10. The pictures of the food. Beside the fact that there’s a half naked, sexy man in some of the photos the pictures of the actual food are also fantastic. Try not to get hungry while reading, I dare you.
Parody fans, cookbook fans, fans of the series, all will probably get a kick out of it. Have a read, enjoy a nice smile, and have a good time. That’s really what it’s for. And maybe get a nice dinner out of it as a bonus.
From my shelf to yours,